Sunday, June 22, 2003

When Ostriches Attack!

I was originally going to bitch about how few people replied to a happy hour invite posted on a group list. Now, I realized that I completely fecked up on my character creation screen by putting too many points into dexterity and constitution instead of charisma. Anyway, it turned out to be a fine evening as it was the quality in company rather than quantity ¦ and I got pretty drunk.

But, I'm still mad! Why? It's because I was a dumbass and tried to be like Dar of the Emorites, the Beastmaster. See, it's just starting to get nice out here, and I decided to do some outdoor jobs/field work that I've been avoiding during the cold, bleak weather.

So, I decided to go to the poultry research farm and take a look around at the surrounding woodlands and check on the health of raccoon population and various other critters that may pose as a threat to the research animals.

Well, they had a large flock of ostriches " about 100 - that they just trucked in from somewhere in the south. Most of them are females that are just over a year-old, and there were a few males that were about 4 years-old. Regardless, they are huge¦like 6-8ft tall. They looked like the flocking dinosaurs " Gallimimus - from Jurassic Park as they move around their enclosure. I've never seen so many ostriches in one place before.

Of course, I decided to take a closer look. As I got closer to the pen, a few of them started to approach like I was about to feed them or something. I tried to get all friendly with those stupid flightless birds like all other domesticated animals. Problem is the fence only comes up to height of the ostrich's body where the neck sprouts " you know what's coming.

I'm all up on the fence checking them out and one of them struts over and I'm naturally like Hey ¦ what's up bird. Then it kinda tilted its head sideways a bit as it stared at me. Then, I see in full 3D-glasses effect, this large ostrich head striking at my face like a fucking cobra.

This is when my extra points in dexterity helped me roll a successful saving throw against the beak strike. It would have a been a devastating stab to the face, and all that happened before lunchtime.

Needless to say, my co-workers were all amused. I'm mad at myself because I know better than that. Those birds are in a new place and I'm not a familiar face. But sometimes I get carried away by my fascination and curiosity. So now I'm going to pour my anger into my workout today just like the forging of the One ring.

So mad