Took Out a PayDay Loan

Never thought I'd be in a situation with no money in my pocket, but it happened, didn't have a penny to my name!

Went to the bank, no way I'm already overdrawn so they wouldn't lend me any more.

Went to my boss, no way, not his policy to give advances on wages.

Went to my family, some of them are worse off than me!!!

Eventually went to a PayDay loans company online and borrowed enough money to keep me afloat until payday. It's costly, but I had no choice, it was either starve or borrow money at high interest rates.

Aliens 3 Movie Review

Everything that anyone has said about this awful Aliens 3 movie is absolutely true.

I can't even believe I sat through this crap all the way to the end. I want my money back for sitting all the way through Aliens 3.

First of all, Aliens 3 is unbelievably gory, packed from beginning to end with excessive and gratuitous violence presented seemingly for its own sake. The movie's producer -- who has starred in numerous action movies -- seems to delight in near-pornographic displays of the graphic destruction of the human body. It seems as though this was the movie's entire objective, from start to finish!

Second, what is up with all the creepy religious overtones and imagery, especially at the end? I know this was a controversial thing with a lot of religious groups, and that a lot of people denounced the Aliens 3 movie before its release. It just all seemed out of place and awkwardly thrown together, a reflection of the producer's own God complex.

And finally, it's just a shitty movie! It's too darkly lit, you can't understand a god damn thing anyone is saying, and what could have been a decent narrative was squished flat by ham-handed editing and the producer's gargantuan ego. I can't believe i spent two hours of my life watching this crap.

Yes, "Aliens 3" is a train wreck from start to finish. I really need a more constructive way to spend my time... maybe I'll go see "the Passion" this week or something to wash this movie out of my brain.

I Wear Glasses

Ugh, I'm such a dumbass. Anyone who knows me knows that I am completely blind, and that I seriously can't see jack shit without my glasses -- which were were constructed using lenses from the Hubble Space Telescope. Without my glasses, I can't even read the text on this screen without having to press my face up against the monitor.

So when I took my glasses off to clean them just now, I grabbed the wrong spray bottle from my desk and doused the lenses with Armor-All by accident. Now they're all blurry and streaky and shit, and the REAL spray bottle, the one filled with fucking GLASS CLEANER, can't do crap to fix it. Does Armor-All just go away after a while? I sure hope it does, because i like seeing things. This is not the first time i've done something like this by a long shot, either -- i once took a huge mouthful of Sea Breeze because i couldn't see that it wasn't Listerine, and I almost fucking died. I can still remember how bad it tasted, which if you're curious was "real bad."

Interior Decorator, I Bought a New Couch

I decided I'd try my hand at interior decorating AKA I just bought a couch yesterday! Woo-WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Please, join me in a brief but heartfelt victory dance. it's going to be great, I'll finally be able to have people over without saying, "please, make yourself comfortable. On the floor." It's a sectional couch with a queen sleeper in it (which is bigger than my regular bed), and it was pretty cheap, comparitively speaking. Also, it's awesome.

But no matter what people might say, the world of couch sales isn't as full of action and intrigue as is widely believed; the only guy manning the store was dead asleep on one of the couches when i came back upstairs from spending a half hour in the the lower showroom. I wasn't sure what the best way to wake up a couch salesman was (i dunno... maybe they're like bears and don't like to be startled or something. i didn't want to get mauled), so i just opted to throw a pen at his desk -- accidentally knocking a bunch of stuff over -- then made a lame joke asking him how he knows if people are stealing couches when he's asleep.

Whatever. New couch and I can add interior decorator on my resume. Hooray for me.

Making a Good Pot of Coffee

I must be easily distracted or something

OK, so I woke up all early this morning -- energized, refreshed, and ready to kick the world right in the pants. Made a sensible breakfast, did my laundry, read some materials for a new client...it seemed all that was left to do before heading off to work was to sing the Folger's song, and make the FUCK out of this pot of coffee -- then drink it.

That's a great plan, as long as you remember the Golden Rule of coffee-makery: as dad used to say, "Make sure the pot is in the coffee maker before you turn it on, otherwise you won't get any goddamn coffee."

I forgot the Golden Rule.

So when i got back upstairs from picking up my laundry, i noticed a funny tang to the familiar aroma of fresh-roasted coffee...a "scorching" kind of tang. Upon further inspection, i noticed that coffee was smouldering on the hot plate and that coffee-nated water had backed up, with the grounds, all the way back into the coffee reservoir. If you ever wanted to know what happens when you put up an enormous pot of coffee without actually putting the pot in the coffee-maker, well that's it. It is very hard to clean a mistake like that up.

But how the hell are you supposed to react when you do something like that? You come into the apartment, and coffee is simmering on the boiler plate, the whole apartment reeks of burning coffee, and there's stinking coffee grounds in every conceivable exposed surface of your kitchen and coffeemaker...do you kick your own ass? do you take the coffee machine -- which should totally have some kind of safety device to prevent morons from trying to make coffee without the pot -- and launch it off your balcony?

No!! You pick yourself up and dust yourself off. You slowly shake your head -- saving yourself the trouble of saying "i'm such an idiot" out loud -- clean out the disgusting coffee-maker, and make a real pot of coffee to take with you. OH -- and make sure to pour the finished coffee into your travel mug, then leave for work with the mug still sitting on the god damned kitchen counter where you left it.

When Ostriches Attack!

I was originally going to bitch about how few people replied to a happy hour invite posted on a group list. Now, I realized that I completely fecked up on my character creation screen by putting too many points into dexterity and constitution instead of charisma. Anyway, it turned out to be a fine evening as it was the quality in company rather than quantity ¦ and I got pretty drunk.

But, I'm still mad! Why? It's because I was a dumbass and tried to be like Dar of the Emorites, the Beastmaster. See, it's just starting to get nice out here, and I decided to do some outdoor jobs/field work that I've been avoiding during the cold, bleak weather.

So, I decided to go to the poultry research farm and take a look around at the surrounding woodlands and check on the health of raccoon population and various other critters that may pose as a threat to the research animals.

Well, they had a large flock of ostriches " about 100 - that they just trucked in from somewhere in the south. Most of them are females that are just over a year-old, and there were a few males that were about 4 years-old. Regardless, they are huge¦like 6-8ft tall. They looked like the flocking dinosaurs " Gallimimus - from Jurassic Park as they move around their enclosure. I've never seen so many ostriches in one place before.

Of course, I decided to take a closer look. As I got closer to the pen, a few of them started to approach like I was about to feed them or something. I tried to get all friendly with those stupid flightless birds like all other domesticated animals. Problem is the fence only comes up to height of the ostrich's body where the neck sprouts " you know what's coming.

I'm all up on the fence checking them out and one of them struts over and I'm naturally like Hey ¦ what's up bird. Then it kinda tilted its head sideways a bit as it stared at me. Then, I see in full 3D-glasses effect, this large ostrich head striking at my face like a fucking cobra.

This is when my extra points in dexterity helped me roll a successful saving throw against the beak strike. It would have a been a devastating stab to the face, and all that happened before lunchtime.

Needless to say, my co-workers were all amused. I'm mad at myself because I know better than that. Those birds are in a new place and I'm not a familiar face. But sometimes I get carried away by my fascination and curiosity. So now I'm going to pour my anger into my workout today just like the forging of the One ring.

So mad